What exactly is premature ejaculation?
Ejaculation that occurs prior to when a man wishes or too quickly during intercourse to satisfy the partner. When most males ejaculate they tend to quickly lose a usable erection for the simple reason that their discharge has temporarily released a state of elevated sexual tension.
What are the causes of premature ejaculation?
It seems logical that our prehistoric male ancestors were all rapid ejaculators. The Homo Erectus who could couple quickly with his mate and repidly reach ejaculation was then free to deal with enemy tribesman and predatory sabre-toothed tigers. The slowpoke got clubbed or eaten. Therefore, only rapid ejaculators survived long enough to sire descendants. Thus, if speed of ejaculation were hereditary, we all should have fast ejaculatory reflexes.
Obviously, the above theory cannot be proven; however, it does contain an element of truth. It is probably "natural" for healthy males to ejaculate quickly. Lasting longer serves no genetic function that we know of.
Lasting is a learned behavior, like learning to dance. It can prolong and intensify pleasure for a man. Also, many women like to experience orgasm - or have been socially conditioned to enjoy orgasm - when the erect penis is inside them. To reach orgasm this way often requires periods of more or less continuous stimulation by the penis.
Premature ejaculation is sometimes also caused or aggrivated psychological factors such as guilt, fear, and performance anxiety.
The first thing a male must hold in mind is that good sex is unhurried sex. The longer he spends in foreplay prior to his first orgasm, the stronger and more enjoyable that first orgasm will be. The compacting of blood in the sex organs builds slowly, inflating the tissues and sensitizing the millions of nerve endings in and around the genitals.
Think of an orgasm like a balloon: the longer you blow air into it, the bigger it gets and the louder the bang when it pops.
Orgasm consists of two stages. One begins with the prostate gland, which encircles the urethra like a tiny donut above the base of the penis, contracts and releases its fluids, along with the contents of the seminal vesicle, into the urethra. To most males this feels like you are going to start a good sneeze, but it's too late to stop. Stage two is similar to the sneeze itself. The pelvic muscle contract strongly around the bulb, forcing the fluid out under considerable pressure. Orgasm is what a man feels when all this is happening. He has probably learned for himself that it is possible to ejaculate without having an orgasm, but he may not yet realize that he can also have an orgasm without ejaculating. That's exactly what you want to learn to do.
The average male in his twenties takes less than three minutes from the time of insertion till he comes. This cheats him of a lot of fun and satisfaction and doubly cheats the unfortunate female he prematurely has an orgasm into.
How do I prevent premature ejaculation from happening?
The most common treatment of premature ejaculation is to become more familiar with the feelings and sensations surrounding the time leading up to ejaculation. By learning to become more familiar with these sensations, you can slowly learn how to predict when the upcoming ejaculation will occur and gain more control over them. This is known as your point of no return.
If you want to be able to enjoy long periods of intense pleasure without ejaculation, you need to discover your point of no return. Masturbate and concentrate on you feelings. There is a point at which you will not be able to control your ejaculation anymore. At that point, as hard as you try, you cannot stop yourself from ejaculating. You will have to ejaculate because ejaculation is a reflex: your brain sends messages through your spinal cord to your sex organs and orders ejaculation.
Once you have successfully discovered your point of no return do not let your arousal reach this point. You can either change your position or stop moving.
Other techniques you may consider are the "stop and start" and the "squeeze" methods.
The "stop and start" method. When, during thrusting, you feel yourself getting closer, cease all movement and press the pubic bone (under your pubic hair) against your mate's pubic bone, thus pushing your penis in all the way. Then both stop moving. (Tell her, "Resting time, love.") When the urgency to ejaculate subsides, start thrusting again. Do this several times in a row. It can also be practiced solo, using your hand instead of a vagina. A varation of this technique is to make several voluntary twitching movements of the penis while you are resting. This can be done by rapidly flexing and relaxing the muscles that control the flow of urine. Try to identify this muscle contraction next time that you urinate. This muscle is known as the PC muscle.
The "squeeze technique" method. This method, which has been proven highly successful in training men to last longer described in a book by Dr. Herbert E. Vendervoort and Rev. Ted Mcilvenna. This technique can also be practiced alone during masterbation.
One stimulates himself until he has had a firm erection for a while, squeezes, and repeats the process several times. After several squeezes, one should have much more intense ejaculation than usual.
During the no-intercourse period, the couple should explore one another sensually, caressing one another's bodies with hands and mouth or by any other means, short of intercourse, that are pleasurable to both. If the man's penis becomes erect while his mate is caressing it, she can, at any time that feels right to her, apply the squeeze to his penis. Preferably this should take place before the man feels himself on the verge of ejaculating. IF the women does the squeeze several times at her descretion, it can become part of her lovemaking technique.
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